Why Changing Yourself Won’t Make You a Better Trader—And What Will
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You’ve probably been told that to succeed in trading, you need to change who you are.
But what if that advice is keeping you stuck?
Lasting change doesn’t come from rejecting who you are.
What I’ve seen with my clients is that your inner talents, deepest motivators, and core values aren’t obstacles to success—they’re the keys to it.
Think about the rebel personality we talked about some weeks ago in this post. Rebels are motivated by independence, freedom, and autonomy. So many of you reached out, saying how much this resonated.
In trading, sometimes these values get misused; rules feel like limits on freedom, and suddenly, breaking them becomes your way to reclaim it. The result? Impulsive trades, over and over.
You sure need to adjust certain things in your mental framework, but your nature isn’t one of them.
The power you’ve been desperately looking for to override your autopilot mode? That power can only come from your core values and inner strengths!
If you haven’t fully tapped into them yet, it’s no wonder you may be struggling to avoid certain mistakes. This is where the feeling of “I just can’t help it” comes from.
How can you align your core with high-performance trading for lasting change? Keep reading, and we’ll explore exactly how to do this.
Reframing the Rebel Mindset
A client of mine was battling with impulsive trading. He had the classic rebel spirit.
At a certain point, we uncovered the core belief fueling his actions: “I can’t give up; if I don’t push through pain, I’m a failure.”
Indeed, this core belief granted him success in his life. But in trading? He'd double down after a loss or mistake, trying to “push through” and turn his day around.
Needless to say, this led to big losing days.
In one session, I asked him, What makes it so hard to walk away when you need to?
I know stepping back is the right thing to do, but I see it as giving up — he admitted. The feeling of failure was the very thing he was trying to fight off with revenge trading. How can I change this belief? — he asked.
I told him, You don’t need to change it. It’s part of who you are, and as you said, it’s pushed you far in other areas of your life, like your physical condition and your business. Instead of changing it, let’s look at reframing it.
But how? he asked…
Unlocking Your Core Strengths
Change happens at a core level.
The approach I take with my coaching clients is solution-focused. That’s undoubtedly the most efficient way to reframe patterns.
Why it works? It prioritizes connecting the coachee to themselves rather than relying on external methods to change an entire life of bad habit reinforcement.
Believe it or not, you hold the answers to your problems. The tough thing is that they are deep-rooted. Many layers of social programming got in the way over the years between you and this core.
Lasting change takes you to always—without exception—access your core.
So, what is this core made of?
Your deepest desires and motivators
Your core values, shaped over time
Your innate talents
In the book Strengths Finder 2.0, Don Clifton explains that your greatest traits aren’t strengths yet; they’re talents. Talents become strengths only when you use them.
We’re all born with unique abilities. If you are unaware of your inner talents, you risk self-neglecting.
Building on your natural talents takes you to:
Position in environments that nurture them
Using them actively in those environments
This is the way to live a profoundly more fulfilling life, experience faster progress, and have a sense of owning who you truly are. Not a bad idea, uh?
But so many people aren’t aware of their talents and end up misaligned with them. Why swim against the tide when you could swim with it?
Trying to transform a weakness into a strength is playing a game that’s not yours. Your success is not only found in your effort but in genuinely knowing your nature to use this effort most efficiently.
Let’s take a practical look at this.
Who Are You? — Preserving Your Core
Your core values have been guiding your life choices up till now.
Look back at your most important life decisions and think about the motivator of your choice—it’s likely to uncover a strong core value for you.
Those who align with their core values experience less stress than those who don’t.
Imagine being forced to support a cause you disagree with or to vote for someone you don’t believe in. The stress of going against your values would be overwhelming.
We often think stress comes from being overloaded with work and overly busy, which can be true. But we all know people who are overloaded with work, and feel energized by it rather than stressed.
What’s the difference?
If you dig deeper, you’ll find there’s one value of yours conflicting with your actions. This is what causes you to self-sabotage.
Picking up on the work overload example, maybe the person under stress is missing time with family, which conflicts with their value of being present as a partner and parent. Or perhaps they can’t make time for the gym, going against the belief that fitness fuels peak performance. Stress derives from a misalignment.
What’s your life's purpose if you’re not living by your values?
Values define who you are, what you stand for, what truly counts for you! They are the compass guiding your choices.
I want you to think back to a particularly stressful time in your life. What was conflicting for you? And what does this say about your core values? Pause for a moment and jot down three core values guiding you.
Pause
Now, let’s bring these values into your trading. How can you leverage them to support your best performance?
Turning Inner Strengths into Trading Success
Remember the client who struggled to walk away? Let’s call him Josh.
Josh’s core belief linked stepping back to “giving up”—something that clashed sharply with his core value of fighting through pain and courage.
In other areas, this value served him well:
He’d push himself to exercise even when he wasn’t feeling like it.
He’d confront conflicts head-on without avoiding discomfort.
You can imagine how “fighting through pain” became a powerful driver in his life... How are you supposed to let go of a core value that’s been so beneficial?
You don’t.
Josh saw walking away as a form of giving up or running away from fear. This perception made him resist it. But perceptions are just one side of the coin.
Walking away from the charts meant confronting the market for Josh, but in reality, this also made him avoid confrontation with himself — his own fear of loss.
Josh always viewed “fighting through pain” as courageous. It turns out that continuing to trade was actually driven by fear, not by courage.
“You’re not fighting through pain,” I told him, “you’re hiding behind the candlesticks.”
“That makes sense,” he said after a pause. “I’m not actually facing my fears; I’m fighting the perceived threat of feeling like a failure by revenge trading.”
“Exactly,” I replied. “So, what new meaning can you assign to walking away that doesn’t clash with courage?”
“Walking away doesn’t mean running from my fears,” he thought aloud. “It means moving toward the trader identity I want and actually facing the fear of failure.”
It sounds simple, but for Josh, this was a breakthrough. Sometimes, we don’t even realize how limited our perspective is until someone helps us flip the coin.
This reframing wasn’t set in stone like a one-time fix; Josh needed to take this with him to his sessions and intentionally reframe it every time he was exposed to the trigger.
This is where most traders fail. You'll never benefit from coaching if you’re not fully accountable for your actions. Coaching is the start of an entirely new journey if you're committed to taking accountability. I hope Josh’s story gave you a glimpse into how powerful this process can be.
If there’s one thing to take from this post, it’s this:
The power to break out of autopilot mode lies in your core—your strengths. If you haven’t fully tapped into them yet, it’s no wonder you may be struggling to avoid certain mistakes. This is where the feeling of “I just can’t help it” comes from.
You’re not the obstacle to good performance; it’s how you perceive yourself—your traits and desires—that might be holding you back.
The good news? Perception can be reframed. You don’t need to become someone else to succeed in trading. Instead, the path is about connecting with your strengths and letting them guide you, which takes the pressure off “becoming” and shifts it to simply understanding how to be more of who you are.
Leverage your strengths and manage your weaknesses—that’s the core belief I live by and it’s one I encourage everyone I truly care about, including you and my 1:1 clients, to embrace wholeheartedly.
Task of the Week
This week, take a moment to sit with yourself (right now works if you’re able, but if not, make sure to set aside some time in your schedule) and work through these steps:
Identify five core values that truly define you.
Reflect on how each of these values can shape your best trading performance.
Use the template below to complete this task:
Getting in touch with what drives you is the ultimate force.
If you’re ready to explore your force and take full accountability to step into a high-level coaching journey, you can explore my 1:1 coaching program here.
Go get ’em!
With love,
Sara
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Hello sara, i am a systematic risk manager and i have a fixed rule of 1:5RR. My data shows 3wins aiming 1:5RR in 15 trades will still put me up in profit. The problem now is 80% of the time I analyze the price next Demand/supply it plays out as planned which if i had extended my take profit I would be getting more than 5RR. The back side of extending my RR is price may give me a 5RR and reverse to change structure. My question is, being rigid with my 5RR trading rule, is it a limitation to my trading or a good discipline ?
I think we learn more about our strengths and weaknesses as traders. If a trade goes against me, I try to imagine if I'd make the same trade at the current price and setup. If not, I cut my losses and look for a better opportunity. That's the plan, but I need to do a better job of following it. Not giving up is a big part of being in business and karate for me, I need to do a better job of reframing "giving up" on a trade.